So many bisexual people who desperately crave positive role models to represent us have also been burned before, and anything other than a clear, unequivocal coming out as bi can feel like teasing or using bi identity as a way to edge-up their image. Figures like these may not be the role models all of us want, but they still exist, and in a sense, erasing them is erasing all of us. 

Bisexuals aren’t trying to game the system by not coming out, or be intentionally duplicitous or “greedy.” If we don’t come out right away, it’s probably because we’re not ready yet, and it’s important to leave space for those who exist outside the typical coming-out narrative. We need to leave more room for the messy bisexuals who don’t have it all figured out, who maybe are a little confused about who they are and what it all means, who are problematic and don’t know what they’re doing or what to call themselves. 

Bisexuality, of course, isn’t a phase, but the time of our lives when we’re figuring it all out might be a tumultuous time when we mess around and make mistakes, when we’re sloppy, slutty, horny, unpredictable, and overwhelmed by our own incredible attraction to so many of the beautiful people around us, and that’s okay.

I want us to love on Black Panther, bravely and openly. But, we cannot forget the asterisk. We cannot forget that a significant achievement for black representation once again came on the back of forced black queer silence. It’s not the first time, and unfortunately it won’t be the last. We can embrace and celebrate Black Panther without losing track of that fact. 

This weekend Black Panther made $242 million dollars domestically, and over $426 million worldwide. In all of cinema history, Black Panther’s debut only comes second to Star Wars: The Force Awakens. If we can dream of a black movie that can soar to these heights, then surely we can imagine a world where it can do so without sidelining its queer characters.